My
friend Donna is moving
In just over a month
She’s
leaving Massachusetts and headed to Texas
Her
son and daughter are in Texas with their spouses and Donna and Rick’s grandchildren
All Donna has wanted to do is get down with there them
And she finally gets to
And that makes me so happy for her, and for Rick and for all the kids
But
I am so sad for Massachusetts
Really
I am sad for me…and Sean and Lucy
Which
is so terribly selfish because Donna and Rick are leaving behind a lifetime of
family and friends
They
were born and raised in Somerville – still live in the house where Rick was
born
They
are everything family and friends should be
And
they have so many people who will miss them
But
they have this wonderful family, and extended family, in Texas waiting to greet
them with open arms
And
I am truly happy for her
Nonetheless, as I sit and write this, I have a big old lump in
my throat and tears threatening to slide down my cheeks
I
will miss my friend more than you will ever know
I
met Donna in 2004 when I interviewed her for a job with our company
In
the first interview, she was a bit frazzled as she had just returned from a
trip to Pennsylvania
Her
great niece had been sick and in true form, Donna had gone out there
So
we just chatted – an “interview” was the last thing she needed
Plus
I hate doing interviews
We just hung out and talked
Within
ten minutes, I knew I wanted to hire her
By
the end of her second interview, I felt like I had known her forever; I
knew all about her sisters, her children, her nieces, her husband, her son's
upcoming wedding and her Mum
So Donna came to work with me and every day, for four years, we laughed, we bickered, we laughed, we filed, we got frustrated with one another, we did invoices, we laughed, we overhauled the office and had it running like a dream and we laughed
So Donna came to work with me and every day, for four years, we laughed, we bickered, we laughed, we filed, we got frustrated with one another, we did invoices, we laughed, we overhauled the office and had it running like a dream and we laughed
She
always had my back in the office and I always had hers
And
at the same time, she became more than an employee and co-worker
She
became a friend
When
Donna left the company, I was devastated
I
would miss her efficiency in the office and her laugh
But
mostly I would just miss her
I would miss having my friend there with me day
in and day out
She
had become a confidant; someone I turned to when I needed support, advice, or
just a shoulder to lean or cry on
Sure,
leaving the company was not the end of the world
There was no way I was getting rid of her that easily
But
work was a whole lot more fun with Donna there every day
See, the
thing with Donna is this: once you become a friend, once you let her into your
life, she is never leaving
Even
when you are at your lowest of lows and are trying to push people away, Donna won’t
budge
She
will stand right there and love you
She
won’t judge or criticize
And
she’s forgiving
But more importantly, Donna places no conditions on your friendship with her
She truly loves and likes unconditionally
And Donna
will always be honest with you and call you out on something if the need be
Maria,
that shirt??!! NO! And what the hell with that turtle neck sweater…..?? (I threw
the shirt out but I loved the sweater too much)
Why
am I gonna send you a Christmas card when I’m gonna see you at Christmas?!?! (But
I always send her one!)
What
do you mean what is this? It’s my Walkman!
But
Donna it’s 2006
But
I’m walking, man, and I like music when I’m walking……(I bought her an iPod)
This
weekend, we’re doing something about that hair Maria….I’m making you an
appointment (she did)
Maria!
Didn’t I tell you no more turtleneck sweaters??? (I finally got rid of them)
When
I started dating Sean, Donna told me within a month not to screw it up (she
knew my track record)
I
didn’t, I almost did, but she made sure I didn’t
When
we got engaged, she squealed, literally squealed and threw her arms around both
of use and tears sprang to her eyes
She
was as excited for us as she had been for her own kids
When
we got married she was right there watching, cheering us on and praying for us
When
we told her I was pregnant, and it was so hard to keep it from her, she went
into full on Auntie mode
When
I told her I was not sure if I was being the kind of wife/mother I thought I
was supposed to be, she listened to me without saying a word…she let me cry,
let me talk my way through it….she validated my thoughts, feelings and emotions.....she hugged me….then she hit me upside the head
and told me not to screw it up
She
reminded me what I had in Sean and Lucy but, she also reminded me what they had
in me
She
reminded me I was worth it – that I too mattered – and that I was just as
important as the next person
And
she reminded me it was ok to feel the way I was feeling
Donna
has seen me through some of my happiest times and she has seen me through
some pretty tough times
She has always been there for me
Even if I did not call her, she was there…
A constant…
A North Star….
Donna
has cooked for us, showered us with love support, encouragement and advice
(even if I did not ask her for it, she knew I needed it) and just plain old been there.....which sometimes, is the greatest thing a friend can do
Donna
is talked about all the time in our house….sometimes Sean or I will just randomly
blurt out, remember that time Donna….Remember those cookies Donna made…..Remember
how hard Donna laughed when….Donna would think this is funny…..
Donna
Donna Donna!
Lucy
started calling Donna Auntie Dodo
We
would refer to Donna as Auntie Donna but Lucy could not quite say it
Auntie
Dodo is what came out
So
Auntie Dodo has stuck
Lucy
even named her first fish Dodo
We
may not get to see Donna as often as we used to but I’ll tell you what, she has
not missed a single one of Lucy’s birthday parties
She’s
like Punxsutawney Phil, always shows up on that most important day of
the year
When
I told Lucy Auntie Dodo and Big Uncle Rick were moving to Texas she seemed unaffected
for a split second until this conversation:
Mumma!
If Auntie Dodo is in Texas, is she…will she…
Lucy’s
bottom lip quivered a bit
But
Mumma! What about my birthday party?!? Will Auntie Dodo miss it? She always
comes!!!
I
could not answer for fear the lump in my throat would suffocate me if I tried
to push any words out
Mumma!
What
honey
Will
Auntie Dodo miss my party?
Well
Luce, she’ll be living in Texas…..
So
she’ll miss it!?!?
Honey,
she’ll be in Texas
There
was a slight pause and then Lucy threw her hands up in the air and declared
Well,
I guess we’ll be having a second party for me in Texas now….
Donna:
I have no idea
how to thank you for the friend you have been
I have no idea
how to tell you how much you mean to me…..to Sean and to Lucy
You are just,
you are….you are everything a Mum, a sister, an Aunt, a Grammy and a friend should
be
You are everything
I hope to be: empathetic, kind, caring, supportive, unconditional,
understanding, forgiving….and you have the best laugh ever
I know you have
bad days and I know it’s not always been easy but Donna, you are still standing
and you have been more true to yourself than anyone I have ever known
You have picked
your battles and won
You’ve cut your
losses when you needed to
You have a
handled adversity with grace, dignity and pride
I admire you for
believing in yourself, your husband and your kids
I only hope that
I too can provide Sean and Lucy what you have given both your Ricks and Dawn
I
will miss you Donna Dovidio…more than you will ever know
I
will miss knowing you are few exits down the highway
I
will miss seeing you at Lucy’s birthday party
But
I will always always call you a friend
And
yes, Donna, I will always call you for dinner
I
love you more than my luggage
And
though I have probably been remiss over the years in saying this, I hope you know
I admire and respect you
Donna,
I am so happy you will finally be with all the kids….I am so happy for all of
you….and I miss you already
Godspeed my dear sweet friend
Ah, and please update your Christmas Card List to include me
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