Wednesday, April 3, 2013

One of these things is not like the other

When I was younger, I had more pairs of shoes than I knew what to do with
I had suede shoes in blue, purple and red
I had countless pairs of sandals and sneakers
I had cowboy boots, clogs and a pair of wedges
I had boat shoes, moccasins, and at least three pairs of winter boots

I had, as most women do, more shoes than any one person needed

Then I turned 30 and realized I had shoes in my closet I had not worn for years
I found two pairs of shoes I had never even put on (they were still in the box, still had tags) but had moved across the country with me

So I purged and since then, I have owned and worn the following

Black comfort clogs
Brown comfort clogs
Brown cowboy boots
Black cowboy boots (though to be fair, I wear my brown ones way more)
Black sandals
Brown sandals

That's pretty much it

You are talking to a woman who went on a trip from Sunday through Wednesday with one pair of shoes
And by that I don't mean the shoes on my feet and a pair in the suitcase
I mean I went with one pair of shoes for the four days I was gone

And they were cowboy boots

I wear my comfort clogs from....okay, who are we kidding, I wear them year round

And when I replace a pair, with an exact replica, I hang onto the old pair for good measure

The old pair becomes the clogs I wear when we are knocking around the yard or when I need to throw something with no socks to run to the dumpster or across the circle to Kristen's house

And sometimes, I leave the old pair next to the new pair

And sometimes, I put on one old clog and one new clog
Usually I catch that pretty quickly as the old pair is always streteched out and worn down and just feels different

But sometimes, I don't notice until around 2 something in the afternoon while I am sitting in a meeting with a guy about life insurance and I am jiggling because my foot feels weird and has since I walked to the car at 7am this morning

Only then, when I am in this meeting with a man about life insurance who bears a slight resemblance to Matt Damon, only then do I realize that I have on two black shoes but not from the same pair

One is a new clog
The other is an old clog

Two different shoes that are seemingly the same
Two shoes that are most definitely not the equal halves of a pair

It is at that moment I realize I have on two different shoes that are really the same shoe

How did I not notice this all day?

How did I not notice this when I pulled my right foot out of the shoe, adjusted my sock and slid the shoe back on

How did I not  notice this when I took off the shoe because I felt something in the toe and tipped it over only to have a rock and what I believe was a hardened piece of Play Doh fall out (at least I'm telling myself it was Play Doh)  

How did I not notice this when every time I walked up or down the hall, my right foot kept slipping around in my shoe

How did I not notice this when I was in a meeting with a colleague earlier and I was starting at my feet while he was talking thinking it was weird that one shoe (the left one) was so much shinier than the other (the right one)

How did I not notice this when I tried to rub said dull shoe on the floor and then nonchalantly crossed my legs and rubbed it with a tissue in an effort to make it shine like the left one

I left the house today with two different black shoes on and did not notice until 2:47

In the words of Hancock and my new friend Christine with a thumbs up, 

Good job Maria, good job

Maria the Mum

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