Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Dear Sean, not Dear John

An open letter to my husband because sometimes, we just need to give credit where credit is due 
Sean, you are due this and so much more 

Dear Sean 

Thank you 

I know the last few months have not been easy 
I know that I have been emotional, moody, at times downright difficult, irrational and unreasonable
I know that I have been up and down and down and up more times than I should have been 
I know that I have been indecisive, borderline whiny and spent countless hours feeling sorry for myself 

I know that Christmas was a total fiasco
I know that I have been hard on you and Lucy, and harder on myself than I should have been 
I know that I have been impatient, sad and mad for no apparent reasons
I know that I have lashed out at you and hurt you for reasons I can't explain 

But you have been steadfast

You are as patient as you can be given all the circumstances
You have listened while I ranted and raved and cried and yelled and wallowed
You have coddled me when I needed it, left me alone when I needed to be alone 
You assumed all duties while I slept my sadness away  

And then when it was time, you told me to stop crying and wallowing 
You gave hard line tough love just when I needed it most
And you have vowed to stand beside me and support me no matter what or where the next step takes me 
Because above all, you want me to be happy

You have loved me unconditionally 

Through all my moods
Through my tears, my laughter, my bad jokes and sarcasm 
Through pounds gained lost, gained and lost again
Through three hair colors and now just graying hair 
Through two world series wins, two presidential/governor elections (and we know how I get with those) and a Senate election I am still convinced was rigged 

Thank you 

For making me smile
For reminding me I am worth more than I realize 
For giving me credit for being good at my job, good as a mother and good as a wife 
For making Lucy laugh with sheer joy as you play dragon school in the basement or construct elaborate marble are the best playmate she have no idea how that warms my heart and makes my soul smile 

Thank you 

For fixing everything Lucy and I break
For being tall enough to reset the smoke detector when I set it off 
For having arms long and gangly enough to reach what ever has fallen over in the back of the top shelf in the pantry and/or linen closet 
For setting up the remote control so I only have to use one instead of five.....and for fixing /reprogramming it when I screw it up 

Thank you 

For making the bed every day and for changing the beds every week because I hate making the beds
For vacuuming (and for the new Dyson) 
For emptying the dishwasher and  putting away the Tupperware 
For switching the laundry around and carrying the overfilled baskets up and down two flights of stairs 
For giving me Netflix and Hulu 

Thank you Sean 

Thank you for asking me to be your wife 
Thank you for making me a mother 
Thank you for raising this little Lucy creature with me
Thank you for holding my hand and for loving me as unconditionally as you have 

In a few short weeks, it will be ten years we have been together 

I am not sure I remember ten years without you 

So because I will forget on our actual anniversary in April and because I can't remember our actual wedding date (is it 26th and 2007 or 27th and 2006), Happy Every Anniversary we have together

Happy Every Day we have together

Every day we have together somehow trumps those anniversary dates....because more than anything, I want every day with you 

I will be, forever and always, be beholden to you...and not just because of the whole green card thing
But because I adore you, treasure you, value you and appreciate you 

You have my heart 
You have my love


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