Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Parent in the Hood

September 9th, 2016

I do drop off in the morning now
And I.hate.it.
Even though I know Lucy loves school more than anything, I hate dropping her off
There's always this pang of guilt, fear and worry that courses through my veins as she hops out of the car, slings her backpack over her shoulders and bounces to the door of dear old Linscott
Fortunately, that pang is tempered with the love I know she has for school and the love and pride I have for this little person Sean and I created who is thriving in spite of us
This week was the start of school
I've walked in with her each morning, lingered for a few minutes then gone to work
This morning, as we crested the hill to school Lucy informed me she would like me to just drop her off and she'd go in on her own
Oh honey, I think I should go with you
Mumma! You have to realize I am in second grade now, I can do things on my own without you
I know kiddo, I just want to make sure....
Mumma! I am 7, I am in second grade, I do not need you parenthooding me any more! Now I love you but stop the car without parking, I will just hop out and you go straight to work
Mumma! You are going to have to let go some time
I couldn't answer but just thought indeed I am little one...but please, not today
So instead of parking, I pulled into the school yard, waited for her to jump out of the back seat and just opened my door to lean down and kiss her good bye
Lucy placed her hands on either side of my face and pulled me to her so we were nose to nose
I'm always gonna love you and you are always gonna be my mum but I am gonna have to grow up
I know honey, I said kissing her nose, and I am super proud of you
I'm proud of you too Mum
Thanks honey...*gulp, she said Mum not Mumma.....
She stepped back, clicked her tongue twice, winked and gave me a double finger gun and then turned and ran to the door
I love you I heard her yell to me and I'm going to be fine Mum!
She was in the door before I could yell back
I love you back kiddo....and I never doubted you for a minute......

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