Three Minutes

Dear Mama Kat

I've not linked up with you for some time

It was not you; it was me 

Actually, I thought it was you as I was not getting your prompts via email as you promised I would but the then I figured out my email was throwing you in my Junk folder

So how about we just say it was both of us and move on before this turns into a Lifetime movie with Rosie O'Donnell playing me and Katie Holmes playing you?

I checked out your prompts this week:

Share 2017 New year's Resolutions 

Word of the Year 

How did I spend New Year's is that an indication of the year to come

Top 12 posts fro 2016

Top 12 photos from 2016

What was I blogging about a year ago 

Sadly, none struck my fancy 

I'm over resolutions as I know I have no follow through so I figure why set myself up for failure

The last time I tried to pick a word of the year it ended up being rainbow….

I did not write enough in 2016 to have 12 posts to choose from

I’m hopeless at taking photos…unless you change the prompt to share your 12 Best Blurry Photos

And one year ago, I was not blogging at all

But I really wanted to get back on your good side Mama Kat

So I nipped over to your Writing Prompt tab to see if you could get my creative juices flowing and started clicking on the Get Your Inspiration On button 

The more I clicked, the more inspired I got 

First, there was What do you like about your job 

And I thought of this post I wrote about my new job a few weeks ago 

I called it “At theMovies” but if you read between the lines, it is truly about my liking my job

Then there was "The First Day of _____________"

Naturally school popped into my head and I thought back to Lucy’s first day of 2ndgrade this past September

I thought we were having a moment, she was just trying not to fart 

Then there was Share an Embarrassing Moment and I knew you, Mama Kat, of all people would appreciate my New Rock Bottom

But I did not just want to recycle a post

I thought I should write you a new one…I mean I sort of owe you at least that right?

So I kept clicking

What are you paranoid about?

Now if you know me, you know there is nothing I love more than a list

And when I make a list, I don’t just make a list

I mean if I just listed a bunch of things, you’d think I was not really putting much effort into it because it would just be….a list

Like this:

What am I paranoid about?

1.       Death

2.       Famine

3.       Drowning

4.       The Kardashians will keep multiplying

5.       Heights, specifically falling from a great height

6.       Losing my job

7.       Sean losing his job

8.       Snake

9.       Spiders

10.   The Apocalypse

I mean where’s the fun in that?

But when I make a list, it’s a list like this:

The top 10 Things I am Paranoid About

Sundries

I can’t go to Target and buy just one thing – like toothpaste, tampons, deodorant, soap, shampoo, or toilet paper

If I do, I am afraid the cashier will think I either did not brush my tooth, need a tampon at that moment in time, am not wearing deodorant, did not shower (thereby left the house without washing my hair and body) or did not wipe myself and therefore, I smell

So instead of buying just what I need, and to avoid getting so nervous I am explaining to a cashier who could probably give two shits that I did in fact brush my teeth/bathe/administered proper hygiene to my body including wiping myself and I am just running low on all supplies and no, I’ve not started my period but any day now, I buy $200 worth of stuff to cover up the fact that I will run out of toothpaste in a week

True story and this has all happened

There are Target cashiers from Illinois to Maine who know way too much about me including my cycle

Air Travel

When I fly, I am always paranoid about going through security

The TSA agents and the metal detector scare the hell out of me

I think I am so paranoid about getting thought security and being mistaken for a terrorist I may actually start looking like a terrorist

I make too much small talk and my eyes dart around nervously

I mean I could not look anymore guilty if I tried

All because I am paranoid of setting off the metal detector or answering a TSA agent’s question incorrectly

So needless to say, I hate air travel

I am also always paranoid I’ll get on the wrong plane

Which I am fairly sure no one would let happen but if it does happen, it will happen to me and I’ll end up in the one country where no one speaks English

The I’ll be mistaken for some sort of spy, become a prisoner and be sentenced to a labor camp

And I am not strong enough to break rocks with a hammer so then I’ll get beaten because I can’t keep up and no one will know where I am all because I wore an underwire bar and was so nervous about the metal detector, and not looking like a terrorist, I got on wrong plane

But then I thought do I really want to unload my weird irrational paranoia on people on a Monday?

That’s more like a Wednesday afternoon thing

So I clicked again and saw

Ten Things I can do in Three Minutes

This should make me sound a little less crazy….

So here goes

As brought to you by Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop

The Prompt:

Ten Things I can do in Three Minutes

1. It takes me roughly three minutes to get dressed every morning

One of the good things about being me is I have zero fashion sense

Which means if you look closely at the clothes in my closet, you’ll realize I own the same 5 sweaters, 5 pairs or pants, 5 blouses and multiple skirts in 4-6 different colors

My closet is like Garanimals ……. everything matches and is interchangeable

My bra is either nude or black, same for my undies so no time lost here either

My socks are the only thing that may slow me down in the morning
I love my socks and I like to take my time deciding if it’s a penguins or moose or cats or polka dots or snowmen or stripes or stars on your socks kind of day

2. It takes me less than three minutes to know what kind of day Lucy is going to have when   she wakes up

I like to think it’s because she and I are so in tune….

In reality, it’s because when this child opens her eyes and her feet hit the floor, she already knows what kind of day she is going to have and she’ll let me know it

I take the next three minutes to decide of I should try to change her course or let her go – usually I let her go

3. I spend three minutes each morning writing a note for Lucy’s lunchbox

I know it takes me three minutes because I poured my coffee eight minutes before that then
I put Lucy’s breakfast on the table, packed her lunch, told Lucy to put down the book and eat breakfast, shooed the cat off the table and out of Lucy’s breakfast, packed her snack bag
told Lucy again to put down the book and eat breakfast

And by then, my coffee has cooled own enough that I can drink it in three gulps while I write said note to Lucy and told Lucy, for the last time, please to put down the book and eat breakfast

4. In three minutes, I can throw together a batch of brownies from a box 
I am not proud they come from a box but sometimes, a working mom’s gotta do what a working mom’s gotta do

And sometimes, your favorite kid wants brownies ASAP

And sometimes, you forget until the last minute that company is coming and you have nothing to put out for dessert

5. In three minutes I can cut up a block of cheese and toss it on a plate with crackers and pepperoni for company who shows up unannounced but is always welcome

6. The other day, I sat down to write Christmas thank you notes and timed myself…not on purpose but I had something in the oven for 15 and I had four notes to write

So I decided to challenge myself to see if I could get all 4 written and in envelopes before the timer went off

It took me three minutes per note to write and then 3 minutes to address all 4 envelopes (return address and recipient address)

I slapped the last stamp on the final note when the timer started beeping

I’m not convinced the notes are legible but they are heartfelt

7. When I was a kid in grade school, we used to have speed test every Friday

The teacher would pass out a sheet with 100 addition and or subtraction problems on it and we had to see how many we could answer correctly in one minute

I just found one on line and did it for three minutes

Turns out, I can answer 182 simple addition and subtraction questions correctly in 3 minutes...I am not sure if that’s good bad or indifferent but I can tell you it raised my stress level and my heart is till beating pretty fast

8. In the same vein as above, I decided to do a multiplication one as well

Turns out, I do not know my times tables at all

I completed a mere 55 in three minutes (correctly)

I’d pretend to be embarrassed but please, I’ve done worse in front of way more people than this

I then decided to also see how many division problems I could do in three minutes…that was 90

So I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with my brain

9. I can watch a movie trailer in 3 minutes or less

Not because I am a genius but because the studios have graciously kept most movie trailers under three minutes or less

But I’ll tell you what, on our Apple TV we have this trailers app (at least I think it’s an app) and before I know it, I have spent an hour watching trailers… do you have any idea how many trailers that is? 

20 trailers people! 

20......I can lose hours at a time watching movie trailers…never mind three minutes for one
     

10.   It took me three minutes to figure out I was pregnant with Lucy

We were living in Medford and I had walked up the street with Sean to his guitar lessen

I was particularly cranky on the short walk and Sean commented on what a twit I was being

And I was being a total twit – and I knew it
But it was because I did not feel well
It never occurred to me I was pregnant
Mostly because my doctor had warned us to be cautiously optimistic about even getting pregnant let alone carrying to term

But on this particular day, Sean said something to me about my hormones being out of whack – that was when I realized I could not remember the last time I had my period

So I walked down to CVS and bought two tests

 That night, as we were getting ready for bed, I peed on a stick

I brushed my teeth and washed my face while Sean was getting settled in bed

It took me two minutes to brush my teeth and a minute to wash my face

And then I looked down at the stick perched on the back of the toilet

The was a big old pink plus sign

I swear it was smiling at me

And my whole world, our whole world, was instantly changed….in three minutes…..

Those were three awesome minutes….

Good to be back Mama Kat!

No prompting

Without prompting, ask your child these questions and write EXACTLY what they say about you.
(Be sure to ask each child separately, so they cannot hear each other's answers!!!)

First, I answered the question on paper
Then, I had Sean and Lucy get a piece of paper and they wrote down their answers

We recorded all three answers below
Then, of course, I had additional editorial comments

Children/Ages
Lucy 7
Sean 47

***What is something I say a lot?

Lucy's Answer: Shit

Sean's Answer: Lucy Ellen Sykes!

My Answer: I love you

Editorial Comment:
Lucy, I appreciate you not repeating fuck
Although that would have been just as accurate

But I have to say, I am a bit surprised neither of you said I love you
I mean I say it so much I am not sure if I am trying to convince you or me…..

***What makes me happy?

Lucy's Answer: Me and Daddy

Sean's Answer: Lucy Ellen Sykes

My Answer: Sean and Lucy, together, apart…they make me happy

Editorial Comment:
But you know what else makes me happy?
Catching a green light
A good snow storm on a Saturday that is the perfect excuse to drink hot coco, read books and play games with no guilt
Rainstorms
Movie star parking
Flipping through the channels and finding one of those movies you can watch over and over again without get tired of it (Air Force One, Sahara, Steel Magnolias, Practical Magic, Bull Durham, The Fugitive, Legally Blonde….)
Or a good basketball game
A no hitter and a perfect game make me happy
And I was happy to be a red Sox fan in 2004 and a Cubs fan in 2016
Getting mail, like cards and notes make me really happy
Writing makes me happy
Giving gifts to other people makes me happy
And recently, I learned that lemon curd makes me happy
So does cotton candy – it’s so fluffy and pink
Ohh and narwhals, unicorns and rainbows make me smile so they too must make me happy
And I am really happy when I think I of how far Lucy has come in the past year…how hard she has worked to control her temper and emotions
How much she has matured…and how hard we have worked at parenting her better….

So yeah, mostly Sean and Lucy make me happy
The three of us together make me the happiest

***What makes me sad?

Lucy's Answer: When I don’t behave

Sean's Answer: Aunt Nell’s passing

My Answer: I’m sad when I think one of you two is having a tough time…especially if it’s because of me

Editorial Comment:
Aunt Nell’s passing did indeed make me sad; still does
And I am not 100% sure I ever really got over it nor will I ever stop missing her…. I still get sad when I think of Aunt Nell

But then I remember her
I remember Aunt Nell and our talks, her laugh, her letters and her hugs
Then I am not sad
But I still miss her

I should add Aunt Nell to the list of things that makes me happy

***How tall am I?

Lucy's Answer: 38 feet

Sean's Answer: 5’8

My Answer: 5’5…5’6 if I am signing up for Weight Watchers

Editorial Comment:
I’m 5’5 jackasses…

***What's my favorite thing to do?

Lucy's Answer: Snuggle

Sean's Answer: Snuggle

My Answer: Snuggle Lucy and/or Sean and Ziggy when he lets me
I also really like scaring Lucy and Sean
Like hiding right outside the bathroom and jumping out/yelling at them when they walk out
Which is sort of mean
But I have scared them both pretty friggin’ good a couple times

Once, I scared Sean when he opened the shower curtain and he almost slipped and fell - hilarious
And once, I made Lucy pee her pants

Yeah, scaring them might be my favorite thing to do…it makes me laugh really hard and I figure if something makes you laugh, it should top your list of favorite things to do

Editorial Comment:
It’s true
I love snuggling under a big old blanket all cuddly on the couch on a cold or rainy day…really any day
I’d snuggle you if you’d let me

And I know it sounds terrible but I do love scaring the hell out of them

But, I also like going for long walks with them (no, I do not like Pina Coladas) because it’s funny to listen to their conversations (I always lag behind because well, who are we kidding, the chubby kid always brings up the rear)

And I truly enjoy vacationing with these two chuckleheads….and they are fun to plan the vacation with – we always have grandiose ideas and it is tons of fun to research and plan a trip with these twos

***What is my favorite food?

Lucy's Anser: China

Sean's Answer: Hotdogs

My Answer: Pizza, or steamed hotdogs...but also on the good list?
Bread and cheese with apple
Ice cream is always a good choice
And lately, Triscuits, cream cheese and lemon curd

Editorial Comment:
Lucy, I love you pal .. but China is a country so I am assuming you mean Chinese
Which I think I eat three times a year, four if Donna and Rick come home

***What is my favorite drink?

Lucy:Seltzer Water

Sean: Root beer

My Answer: Seltzer Water and root beer
But I am huge fan of a good cup of coffee or hot chocolate

***If I could go anywhere, where would I go?

Lucy's Answer: Universal Studios

Sean's Answer: London

My Answer: Scotland or the Lake District in Northern England
Hogwarts would be my fictional place

Editorial Comment:
Ok first of all, Lucy wants to go to Universal because of Harry Potter World…. I suppose technically I would not mind going either

And Sean, I’m hoping you said London because you know how much I love the Queen and she was too busy to see us last time we were there....

But remember that time we got married and I wanted to honeymoon in SCOTLAND but instead we went to Asheville, NC???

I mean don’t get me wrong, I loved our honeymoon…. but remember how Auntie Hillary gave me a book about Scotland because she knew how much I wanted to go there?

Scotland honey, Scotland

***Do you think you could live without me?

Lucy' Answer: No way Jose

Sean's Answer: Maybe next Wednesday

My Answer: Probably not
Mostly because I pay all the bills and Sean still thinks Wells Fargo holds our mortgage which they have not since 2009
Plus, I clean the bathrooms

Editorial Comment:
Lucy – good girl, I like you answer
Sean - you are on your own next Wednesday, let me know how that works out for you

***How do I annoy you?

Lucy's Answer: You say the same thing over and over again…. like Lucy get that! Lucy get that! Or Lucy do this, do this….
Even after I already got it or already did it

Sean's Answer: When you nag
Stop doing this stop doing that…like stop clicking your nails! Because you have bat ears.....

My Answer: I annoy myself when I tell you both to not do (or do) something not once, not twice but so many times that I can’t decide if I am more annoyed with you for doing it/not doing it or with myself for repeating myself 8,674 times

Editorial Comment:
This was the only question none of us hesitated on….and, it turns out I am a nag
Shit

***What is my favorite TV Show?

Lucy's Answer: Ellen

Sean's Answer: West Wing

My Answer: I have no idea…. I may be too fickle to have a favorite

Editorial Comment:
I do love Ellen – she’s funny and has an affinity for socks the way I do
Also, I like watching her with kids
And when she scares people
My favorite was when she was in Adele’s ear

But Sean is right too
The West Wing is one of my favorite shows because the writing was brilliant
But I also like Hell on Wheels which I am currently binging on Netflix
And Madame Secretary is a favorite
And when Justified was on, I lived for that show
Blindspot, The Designated Survivor, The Blacklist, This is Us are up there
So is Parenthood and Hill Street Blues
And Blackish
And Empire
The Office, Parks and Rec, The Mindy Show, 30 Rock, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Life in Pieces, Modern Family
And have you seen The Superstore
And…fuck I watch shitload of TV…….

***What is my favorite music to listen to?

Lucy's Answer: Moana soundtrack

Sean's Answer: Bruce Springsteen

My Answer: Again, I am way too fickle for a favorite but Jack Johnson, Simon and Garfunkel (together and solo) Bruce Springsteen and Joan Baez are my go tos…and musical soundtracks/scores
And Billy Joel…sometimes…..
But not Piano Man, I might hate that song….
Although I know all the words and turn it up when it comes on
Ok, I don’t hate it, and I secretly think I sound really good singing it
I don’t

Editorial Comment:
We saw Moana over Christmas and the sound track is currently a favorite
Mostly because I have the biggest crush on Dwayne The Rock Johnson and he sings in this movie

Also, Mark Mancina did the composition and he is one of my favorites
He also did the August Rush soundtrack which is one of the best scores ever

But the best is of course John Williams
I could listen to his scores all day

Springsteen is a favorite; always has been, always will be

But like I said, I like too many to pick a favorite
Because aside from what I threw out there, I also like Kayne West, Snoop Dog, Gordon Lightfoot, American Authors, Little River Band, and Fleetwood Mac
And Shania Twain, Jimmy Buffet, Garth Brooks and Carly Simon

Also, the guy that just won The Voice
And one of the guys who did not

Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley and Journey will also make my play list
So will America, Toto, and Creedence Clearwater Revival
The 70’s were a good decade for music

And recently, I’ve learned I like Motown more than I realized
Nothing soothes me like Tchaikovsky and Rick Springfield and Kenny Loggins of all people can pull me out of a funk

***What is my job?

Lucy's Answer: Paperwork
Sean's Answer: Den Mother
My Answer: I don’t know but I am having fun doing it and I love my boss

Editorial Comment:
As many know, a year ago, I left a company after 15 years
Such a difficult decision
But it was the best decision for me and my family

And though I miss so much about the job, the company and the people I worked with, I landed in a pretty good place

I’m part Office Manager, part customer support, part inside sales, part sales support, and more recently, part controller/HR
I do whatever has to be done but there is no one to do it – and I am enjoying it way more than I realized

A couple months ago, I felt like I was failing miserably at it
But then Sean reminded me I was at my last job for 15 years….it took me 15 years to get the level I was at
And I’ve been at my new job not even 15 months
He reminded me to ease up on myself and just enjoy it

I took his advice and I am way more relaxed and having fun

***How old am I?
Lucy's Answer: 44
Sean's Answer: 44
My Answer: 45

Editorial Comment:
Nope, they are right, I am 44

***What's my favorite color?

Lucy's Answer: Yellow
Sean's Answer: Blue
My Answer: Yellow

***How much do you love me?

Lucy's Answer: So much! Like this much (with arms spread wide open) So much! Like the whole entire world!

Sean's Answer: Too much

My Answer: You guys love me so much your heads feel like they’ll explode

Editorial Comment:
I love the two of them so much my head feels like it’s going to explode almost every day

And my heart explodes at least five times a day…especially when I say good night to them and realize how lucky I was to get to spend another day with them….

Even after a day of them doing whatever it is they do that makes me nag………….

Copy, paste and change my answers and see what your child says!
You will be surprised how much your kids pay attention to you! (or not!)

At the Movies

I’ve been at my new job for a year now

One of the biggest adjustments for me, aside from getting used to all the accents and cultures, has been dealing with people (work colleagues and customers) strictly via email

I mean I am hard enough to love and appreciate in person and now, now the only way to do it is through the written word with people who have never met me and therefore, do not know “my voice”

And, to boot, I am in contact it with more non Americans than Americans

Which means they do not always pick up on my pop culture references (much like my British born husband)

And sometimes, things get lost in translation (literally and figuratively)

The majority of my work colleagues I interact with on a daily basis are in Sweden, China, and the UK

And though most of my customers are here in the US (with a couple in Canada and Brazil) they are concentrated on the West Coast

So we are in no fewer than 4 time zones
Makes it hard to get anything done in a day

Emails are not answered within an hour of hitting someone’s inbox
Transactions usually occur over a 48 period and an email is typically answered anywhere from 8-24 hours after it’s been sent

As someone who is all about instant gratification, you can imagine my frustration

Sometimes, I have days like today where I walk in and spend the first two to three hours of my day doing nothing but writing

And by writing I of course mean emails

Sometimes, just for fun and to pass the time, because writing emails like this for hours at a time gets really boring as no one answers you back, I make up games

One time, I wrote song lyrics into my emails
Another time, I threw in some movie lines
Sometimes I write in idioms

Today, I decided to incorporate movie titles in all my emails
All in context
And all with the proper capitalization as a hint to the recipient

Like this:

The two cathodes we had in stock were literally Gone in 60 Seconds as I received back to back requests

I sent that pump out a couple weeks ago for The Italian Job

We were thisclose to closing the sale and just like that (insert snap of the fingers for dramatic effect here), it was Gone with the Wind

The HV Unit finally arrived after apparently traveling the world via Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Please make sure the information provided is accurate….I’d hate to be caught Telling Lies in America

In my follow up email about the HV Unit above: Well, could have been worse, it could have gone Around the World in 80 Days

I’ve sent out at least a dozen emails like this

My last email was sent to my favorite work colleague ever

I interact with him multiple times a day

And as with any work colleague, you get to know one another
He totally understands my humor and totally hears my voice in email

He is teh one who usually figures out what I’m doing....then starts to play along

One of the things I have learned about him is he is a huge American football fan

I also recently learned he has taken to printing some of my emails and hanging them up on the refrigerator in the "break room"

Earlier today, I sent him an email with the following passage (we’re trying to wrap up and resolve a customer issue):

Well, it seems to me we have made All the Right Moves and provided him with enough options to choose from – now it’s up to him

But, I do believe this can wait until Monday; it’s getting late there and I don’t want you burning the Friday Night Lights

So how about we give it the weekend and come up with The Game Plan Monday?

Hopefully it won’t be Two for The Money of one cathode because the 675 hours it ran was well within the parameter of expected performance

Once we get “customer so and so” to realize that, maybe he’ll get with The Program and stop asking for The Replacements every 400 hours

Thanks again for all your help - your protection of The Blind Side relieved the pressure I was starting to feel from “so and so”

Have a good time with your Little Giants this weekend
Talk to you Monday
Until then, I remain Everybody’s Favorite All American,

Maria 

Within five minutes, 

He responded:

You win
I’ve printed this and hung it up
This is definitely one of your top 5
And you are indeed my favorite American

The Great Pumpkin

We love Halloween
Not really for the ghouls and gore
More for the candy and the carved pumpkins

Sean spends hours carving intricate designs
I'm in charge of scooping out the pumpkin guts
I am also in charge of carving the obligatory and traditional Jack-o-Lantern
Sean is then in charge of fixing at least one eye and the mouth on said pumpkin

Sean and Lucy will spend hours talking about and deciding what the design on the pumpkins should be

They search for the perfect picture whilst I scoop out pumpkin guts readying their canvas

This year though, Lucy had other plans

Recently, Lucy introduced us to Kung Fo (Fu) Kitty
Maybe you saw his picture I shared a couple weeks ago

He's a black cat
He wears a red face mask
His paws are always raised and at the ready as is one of his back legs
He comes from the mountains of Japan which he has spent his whole life protecting
Kung Fo Kitty can kick your ass
But not for no reason, he's actually here to protect us from bullies and evil

This afternoon, Lucy informed her Dad she'd like Kung Fo Kitty on her pumpkin

Sketch him out for me said Sean as he handed her a pencil and piece of paper
Lucy drew Kung Fo Kitty's head complete with mask 

Then Sean took the pencil and sketched out Kung Fo Kitty as a template, on paper first

Then, he turned that into a "drawing" on his computer
Which he then printed as a template

He laid the template on the pumpkin and went to work
and 2.5 hours later..........

The Great Kung Fo Kitty Pumpkin

An Ode to my Old Friends

This article made me think of and miss some old friends

Friends I had some of the best times with....

http://www.scarymommy.com/cubs-fan-dorothy-farrell-life-goals/?utm_source=FB

Bob Dover - I seem to remember doing shots of this with you and Kirk......but I recall flames......

Brandon - I'm pretty sure you were there too...pretty sure you were driving...pretty sure you should not have been...but then again, none of us should have been

If I make it to 90, I'm going to start drinking again....and someday, I shall be Dorothy

Paul Sikora -
My Ted Williams jersey is still one of my favorite, most prized possessions
As is the Cubs hat I bought with you the first time I ever went to Wrigley
I have a vague recollection of tearing up

Still gives me goosebumps

My memories of watching Ken Burns's Baseball with you are some of my favorite
I miss your Seinfeld like musings and now and then, have a thought or idea that I know only you would appreciate and understand
Harry Carey still has a special place in my heart

Someone asked me the other day who I was cheering for

As a self proclaimed and defined purist, I replied:

I only have one AL team, the Red Sox
Never would I cheer for another .. even one managed by Tito
In 1990 something, I met this guy Paul - he loved baseball and smoking as much as I did
He introduced me to the Cubs
Because of him, because of his love of the game, the Chicago Cubs became my NL team
They have my support
I follow them all season with little fanfare, but they are my NL team
Mark Grace is still my favorite
And Kerry Wood was a dream to watch

He then asked me if we were in touch now watching the Series
I told him I'm living and dying every pitch with Paul in solidarity, in hope, in silence...but no, no talking....don't want to mess with anything

He shook his head and said baseball and its fans are way too superstitious for him

I guffawed

No we're not I declared while I poured a circle of salt around myself, said Ernie Banks's name 14 times,
Ted Williams's name 9 times,
shoved three pieces of Wrigley's gum in my mouth
all whilst genuflecting with some of the Holy Water I keep in my bag for just such an occasion

We most certainly are not!

October 27, 2004

October 27, 2004

Still rocks me to my core

I watched the win with my kid sister

Neither of us said a word when it was over
We were in stunned silence for minutes

One of us finally blurted out
Holy shit! Did we just win?
Yeah, we just won
Fuck - we just won
WE JUST WON!!!!!

We let out a whoop, a single whoop, hugged
And then I went home
I think we were in shock

Drove with a goofy grin on my face, windows rolled down, WEEI turned up
From Watertown to Medford, people were on the streets, spilling out of house cheering, laughing, screaming, crying

When I got home, my landlady and I shared a class of champagne together
Which turned into three (ok fine, the bottle)
Then we drank beer

We sat on the front stoop in silence for about 20 minutes
The people across the street were screaming and yelling enough for the whole street

I never thought I'd see it she said
I know
I just saw it she said
You did I replied
I wish my Mom could have seen it
I know I said
Is your grandfather a fan? she asked
He is I said, though he has a soft spot for the Braves
I bet he is losing it about now she said
Probably...not as much as my Uncle John Demaso...but I'm sure Grampy is pretty excited

Grampy died a little over a month later at the age of 91
But he saw them win
For the first time in 86 years

I went to the Parade with my youngest sister, her roommate and Karen Smith

Karen, by the way, almost did not come because she had laundry to do
The Red Sox win for the first time in 86 years and Karen says she may not come to the Parade because she has no clean clothes

WTF Karen Smith?!?!

I have a washer Karen
I know but....
Karen! The Red Sox just won! for the first time in 86 years...
I know but.....
KAREN! You will put your dirty laundry in a basket, you will put the basket in the car, you will come to Boston....WE HAVE TO GO TO THE PARADE!!! THEY WON
OK OK I'll come

It literally took that long to convince her

Karen drove 6+ hours on Friday night from Baltimore after work for the Parade...dirty laundry in tow

We did her laundry and stocked up on snacks for the next day
I remember wandering through the grocery store at 11pm that night giggling and giddy because we were going to a Parade

A Parade because the Red Sox won the World Fucking Series

We met my sister and Katie at Back Bay and headed towards the Library
The crowds were overwhelming
The vibe was amazing
And even though it was cold and a bit windy, no one cared

The Curse was broken

Our backpacks were filled with food and booze......you know, to keep us going throughout the day because we were not taking breaks for food or drink
No way were we going to miss a moment of this

We took nips out of a flask
We jumped up and down to stay warm
Every once in awhile, one of use would say I can't believe we won!
I don't think we ate a thing

For some reason, Karen and I felt the need to purchase the biggest container of hummus we could find....
Because nothing says Fuck you Curse of the Bambino like an 18oz Party Size Container of hummus

I don't even think we opened the hummus
But we had it just in case

To this day, hummus makes me think of the Parade.....
....Of the Duck Boats Boats filled with the players, their families, the team owners, the coaches, the management

The players were taking pictures and video of us just as we were taking pictures and video of them as they rolled by

I am not sure any person on the streets that day, player, fan, or coach, had fully processed what had happened

But we were all there celebrating

Laughing, crying, cheering, yelling, drinking. still crying, screaming, dancing, whooping...

It was the best party I have ever been to in my life

2004
2007
2013

Those last two have yet to sink in

And though I relish those wins, nothing will ever be like 2004.....