Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dear Lucy

Dear Lucy,

Please stop growing up!

As much as I want to see you succeed, as much as I want you to charm the world as you’ve charmed me, as much as I want you to experience what God has in store for you, please stop growing up!

As much as I want you to find love as I did with your Dad, as much as I want to some day hold your babies, and as much as I want you to know the joys of motherhood, please, stop growing up!

As much as I want to see you climb onto the school bus for the first time, come home with your first A (or B or C or whatever...ok, please no Ds or Fs) and as much as I want you to learn to read so you can transport yourself into whatever world you fancy, please, stop growing up!

Please. Stop. Growing. Up.

As selfish as I know that sentiment is, as self indulgent as it seems, I thrive on your reliance of me....

I wait for you to call me every morning to come and get you so we can 'nuggle.

I get through my work day knowing that at 5:15, when I walk into the room at school to pick you up, you may not come running right over because you’re busy doing a puzzle or digging in the dirt but you will flash me a smile as big as Texas thereby affirming my existence in this world.

I live for that moment when you call my name, reach for me, climb into my arms and then settle your head onto my shoulder...throw your arms around my neck and give me a squeeze...this is how I know I am alive.

I like how you hold my hand while you are falling asleep.....

I love that just before you fall asleep, your eyes flutter open to make sure I am still there and when you see I am, you let out a big sigh, close your eyes, squeeze my hand one more time then drift off to the land of your dreams....

Sure, I could do without your temper tantrums (and I'm sure you could do without mine) and all that comes with it (the kicking, the crying, the yelling, the flailing...you not me)
And yeah, it would be great if we could get through a meal with no peas being flung, nothing chewed up and spit out and no droplets of milk dripping from my eye glasses.
Sure, I would love it if you gave us a little less attitude when we ask you to do (or not do) something
But really, I'm pretty lucky I get to be your Mum....and I'm pretty lucky to be your Mum with your Dad as your Dad.....

So I guess there is no need for you to change anything....but please, stop growing up!

We had so much fun this weekend - Pizza Party Friday night just because (so what if you ended up having Mac and Cheese) And not 1 but 2 popsicles for dessert!

The Zoo on Saturday...you screeched with laughter at the monkeys and chimps, waved at the lions, yelled at the tigers, fed the parakeets and chased the goats You tried so hard to stay awake but when we stopped for lunch, after three solid hours of nonstop running, you fell asleep before we could even unwrap your meal. We stopped at Ikea on the way home and you and Daddy ran around silly like you do.....after you ate two plates of meatballs!

We came home with Peter Puppy (I know you want a real puppy and maybe someday....but for now, stuffed puppies need to be loved to!) and then it was movie night. Babe made me cry in a couple spots but you giggled your way through it - well, most of it...you were tired and falling asleep so we promised we’d save it for Sunday

We went off to the Aquarium bright and early Sunday and you laughed at the penguins, touched the sting rays and sharks, chased the turtle up the big tank, waved at the sea lions and spent who knows how long petting the star fish the crabs and the sea urchins. A walk over to Quincy Market and you were asleep before we made it from one end to the other.

Your dream day ended with a trip to Target where we purchased you a Potty.....and that was when it hit me, you're growing up....and nothing I can do will stop it.

So we took you home, fed you, bathed you, snuggled together to watch the end of Babe and I watched you fall asleep...holding your hand and silently praying you would not grow up.

Monday we took you for a haircut, you looked like a big girl perched in the chair - and then off to buy some new books - you had your heart set on one about a whale - which of course we found for you.
When we got home, you proceeded to cover you entire body with stickers....and when we pulled them off, you whimpered and complained and I worried about the blotches they left on your skin...but ten minutes later, you were covered in stickers again.

An afternoon spent making a mess of the house (we had fun!) and collecting more acorns...your pink bucket is now overflowing but you have more buckets to  fill.....and as the day, and seemingly our summer, came to an end, we had burgers and hot dogs on the grill.......and you ate your first corn on the cob, like a big girl....popsicles on the front porch, a bath and a story and you were in bed falling asleep as you muttered about everything you did over the weekend....so excited to tell Rika about the animals you saw and the sting ray you touched.....

I sat and watched you after you feel asleep not quite ready to let go of your hand and that was when I tried to bargain with God...tried to talk him into letting you, and me and Daddy, stay right here...at this time, in this life....

And then this morning, you called for me to come get you so we could 'nuggle....and as I was in the shower and Daddy was brushing his teeth, you slipped off your diaper, perched on your potty and peed.....

Daddy was proud, you were excited, I poked my head out and gave you a high five.....and silently asked you to please, stop growing up.....

At breakfast you insisted on having acorns with your waffles....we obliged and gave you a bowl which you proceeded to overfill with acorns...and Daddy chased down rolling acorns while you giggled and I kept glancing at the clock wishing it could last Friday again...and that you would stop growing up.

Daddy said you were quiet on the way to school as you often are after a long weekend home with us....I was quiet on my way into work too....I did not want our weekend to end...I do not want you to grow up and I do not want us to grow old...I want it to be like this for longer than nature allows.....

I want you to see what the world has to offer and I want you to realize what you have to offer the world....but does it have to happen so fast?

I'm not ready to send you off to school on the bus or to see your first tooth fall out or to have you come home and tell me you did not get invited to someone’s party or that you were picked last in gym class.

I'm not ready for you to get your feelings hurt and suffer a blow or defeat that will affect you for the rest of your life....

I'm not ready for you to grow up and struggle to figure out your place amongst your peers because even though it will seem like the end of the world, it won’t be...but it will feel like it and it will have an impact on how you live the rest of your life and who you become....and some may accuse me of being dramatic but deep down, we all remember the first time someone made fun of us at school or when we weren’t invited to someone’s party or when we were turned around from cool kids' table.....

And I'm not ready to deal with you being the cool kid who turns someone away from your table...but if I do my job right, you’ll be the cool kid who invites everyone to sit at her table.....

Dear Lucy....sweet Lucy...please stop growing up....but if you must.......

Remember I love you...unconditionally and forever and always
Remember your manners - please, thank you and you're welcome with a smile will get you farther in life than a snarl on your face and a threatening tone
Remember that everyone is someone's daughter, son, mother, father, sister or brother....be kind to them
Remember that you can always come home...I don’t know where it will be but our door will always be open no matter what you do or don’t do....
Remember that if I’m feeling like this and you’re only 2, I'll probably be a mess when you’re 16 so cut me some slack....
Remember that it always gets better - growing up sucks....becoming an adult sucks....but it always gets better...it will sometimes get rougher but then it always gets better
Remember to have fun.....we get old because we stop having fun; we don’t stop having fun because we get old....
Remember your Dad's birthday and Father's Day....and if you can manage mine as well, along with Mother’s Day, that would be great
Remember to call us when you'll be late
Remember that when we say No, there is a better reason than you realize, and though it may not be clear at that moment in time, someday you'll be glad we said no
Remember that we will make mistake...we will screw up and subsequently screw you up to a degree...we will do and say things we will wish we could take back second after it happens.....and I know that no matter how many times I say I'm sorry the damage will have been done...just try not to hold against me for too long
Remember that I was a kid once too - I was struggling to figure out my place in this world and at 39, I still don't have it all figured out.....neither will you and that's okay....just remember that when you're 39, I will still love you as I did when you were 2....
Remember to say your prayers
Remember I will always be proud of you
Remember to call your grandparents
Remember to fasten your seat belt, look both ways before your cross the street and Yield and Stop are not the same thing
Remember that you don’t have to be the best at everything you do, just give it your best
Remember that there are times you will fail, does not mean you are a failure
Remember to laugh, to smile, to cry, to breathe, to love, and to dance
Remember the Alamo
Remember to respect yourself as much as you respect those around you
Remember to do unto other as you would have done to you (this is from Baby Jesus, Mummy's not that smart)
Remember I love you.......

This started out as me asking you not to grow up....and was instigated by my recollection of what a great weekend we had...and is ending with my first batch of Things to Remember for you.....sometimes you’re Mum is really all over the place....remember to cut me some slack....

And Dear Lucy? Please stop growing up......so fast....

I love you to the moon and back, until Niagara Falls and with a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck

Maria, the Mum

1 comment:

  1. Loved every sentence! I'm so happy for all of you. You deserve this wonderful life!
    Your WW friend, Diane


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.