I have not written a word since last week. Not because nothing good has happened…because I have no interest in doing much of anything….because work (my job) is sucking my will to live……..I’m not kidding about this. It is literally sucking my will to live….and I think the more I work, the dumber I get……Right now, I live for 5pm…..because I know by 5:20, I’ll have Lucy in my arms….because by 5:25, she’ll be in the car jibber jabbing all the way home about Rika and Ali and Jackie and Logan and Caiti and Molly…and by 5:30, the stink of the day is gone and I remember why I do what I do…for Lucy….and for Sean…so we have what we need…and we want what we have….
Nonetheless, I'd like to win the lottery….I want to win the lottery. Not so I can stay home and eat bon bons….just so we can pay off the house, pay off any debt we may have, put away money for Lucy’s future (and by future, I do not mean set her up for the rest of her life. I mean enough money for her college education….she has to earn her keep just like Sean and I did) and I can drop to part time……that’s all I want to do is work part time…and I don’t even care where I work (ideally, I’d like to become a substitute teacher or the lunch lady)I wouldn’t take a fancy trip, buy a new car (I love my Corolla) or have plastic surgery (though I would consider lipo for my arms)….I just want to be able to be there to send Lucy off to school in the morning and to meet her at the bus stop when she comes home. I want to be able to go to her school plays, her school concerts and all her games she may play in. I want to be able to stay home when she is sick and not feel guilty about it. I want to have a hot meal on the table when Sean gets home from work (because if we win the lottery, he still wants to work…he’s got this creative side that needs to be kept busy…) I want to have the laundry folded the same day I take it out of the dryer….and I’d like to take it out of the dryer the same day I put it in…….and I wouldn’t mind a bon bon or two.
I wonder……….if I won the lottery, would I appreciate my life as much as I do right now?
Would I still relish the time spent collecting rocks, hunting for acorns, painting, coloring, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk?
Would I still love combing through the piles of books for the perfect story?
Would watching the same movie 7 times in a row still amuse me?
Would I still look forward to the 20 minutes after bath and before bed when we sing and dance in Lucy’s room?
Would I still savor the quiet time Sean and I have in the evening after Lucy has gone to bed, we’ve made lunches, cleaned up the messes and maybe (but probably not) folded the laundry?
Would I still look forward to our weekends….our trips to the park, the zoo, the farm, Target, or the bookstore…?
Would I still want to go feed the ducks at the pond, go to Pet Smart to visit the puppy dogs or just take a drive to see what we see?
Would we still turn the back yard into a water park and have picnics on the floor in front of the TV eating out of a pizza box?Yes, I think so…….no matter what, I will appreciate the life I have because I’ve been blessed and I’ve known love and joy...and it just gets better as time goes on.
I have a husband and a daughter, a job and a house
I have food on my table, gas in my car and clothes on my back
I have unconditional love....I get it even if the laundry is not folded, dinner is cold and I sing off key……OK I may be pushing it with the singing thing….I’m really bad at singingI got to have a baby…I got to create a life…I got to hold a little newborn in my arms and realize that she is mine to keep and love forever…and hopefully she’ll keep and love me forever too
I got to walk down the aisle to take the hand of someone who loves me in spite of my faults and flaws because in his eyes, my good stuff cancels out the bad stuff….and in my eyes, I could not imagine life without him..and in front of God, our families and our friends, he said so….and so did I…in front of God, we declared our vows….
I’ve known love and bliss….I’m a Mum and a WifeI’ve been blessed….I’m a Mum….and a Wife……
And that, my friends, answers prompt #1 from Mama Kat: 1.) Did you create a list of 22 things you’ve done in your life last week? This week, choose one item from your list and elaborate! We want the story.(See my list here)
Maria the Mum