Hurt Locker

Sean observed this morning, quite brilliantly, that being a parent is like being a member of the Bomb Squad....you never know when your child is going to blow or what the trigger will be or which wire to cut to disarm them

Lucy has been in the state of a tantrum since last night at 5:30.

I arrived at Day Care at 5:20, the kids were outside playing. So I nipped into her class room, grabbed her bag and the art work in her little mailbox - a duck and two ladybugs. I found Lucy outside making a sand cake and singing Happy Birthday (to Lucy) and, as she always does, she invited me over for a piece of sand cake. By all accounts, Lucy had a great day (made even more great by the fact that Kylie was back from vacation) though she did not really care for the chicken she had for lunch.

I collected Lucy and we headed out to the car. As we were walking down the hall, she noticed the duck in her bag and wanted to hold it. Somehow, the duck's beak fell off along with a couple feathers - Lucy's bottom lip started to quiver and she did that thing with her eyes, where they sort of start to scrunch up....

Honey, its okay, Mummy will fix it, I promise.....I then distracted her with a little snack pack of M&M's (stashed in my bag for just such a potential crises)
Drive home was uneventful as Lucy was chomping her MMs as she calls them

We arrived home and she asks if we can hang her duck and ladybugs on the wall

Of course we can baby, you show Mummy where we should hang them and we'll do it right now
Yeah Mummy, for Daddy?
Yep, we'll hang them up before Daddy gets home and surprise him
OK Mummy

I get the tape, Lucy climbs up on the chair and as I'm putting tape on the duck (after I repaired his beak) and lady bugs, Lucy pointed to the wall next to the clock and said Ducky there.
Then she pointed to the spot next to the light switch and said Ladybugs there Mummy.
OK I agree....

Next thing I know, she starts crying, screaming and throws herself off the chair (I may be chubby but I still have great reflexes)...I caught her on the way down

Lucy is wailing and muttering something completely unintelligible...she may or may not have been putting a curse on me.

Her crying and yelling get louder and no matter how hard I try to calm her down, I can't. So I move the stool, push in the chairs, pick up the broom and leave her to work it out.

I swept, emptied our lunch bags, fed the fish, checked the calendar for what cards need to be mailed next and waited for the crying and screaming to subside. At one point, there was a break and I crouched down to her level and asked her if she wanted a snuggle

Go AWAY Mummy!! as she pushed with her hands and feet

I stood up and walked away which prompted an even louder wail. She jumped up, ran into the living room and threw herself onto the floor...and just kept crying

Sean walked in the door about 35 minutes after this started - helluva thing to walk into.
What happened he asked
No idea I replied, no idea

She carried on for another 10 minutes or so before she finally started to calm down....and announced she was hungry

So I put out a plate and tried to get her to her chair. But she spotted a loaf of bread and asked for some....I pulled the bread out and made the mistake of getting a knife to cut the stale end off before handing it to her....she started to cry...I pleaded with her to just give me a second, I was trying to get the yucky part off....Sean reassured her Mummy was fixing it for Lucy....but she cried.

I handed her the chunk of bread, crying ceased and then tried to guide her to her chair......but quickly realized I was in violation of whatever silent peace treaty had just been reached as her eyes started to cloud over and the vein on her forehead began to throb.....so I suggested that we sit on the front porch and have dinner

So Lucy, looking like a prisoner as she clutched her bread, and I (with her plate and milk in hand) headed to the front porch to enjoy the evening air.

She was fine for ten minutes - when all of a sudden, she took a big bite of bread, leaned over so she was in my face, opened her mouth and spit said bread in my face.......

I did not lose my cool. I simply stood up, told Lucy that was not OK, took the bread away and marched her into the house. She threw herself on the living room floor and cried.

By the time we make it up to the tub, it is 7:30....by this time, we are usually dressed for bed.
I wrestled her through her bath, got her dressed (minimal wrestling) and at 9:15 , I finally descend downstairs to have dinner with Sean.

She awoke this morning with no apparent after effects of last night's tantrum. Seemed like the day was off to a good start, we were even a few minutes ahead of schedule so we played monster hide and seek for a few minutes.....and then, next thing we know...........Lucy explodes into a temper tantrum.......

25 minutes of crying, writhing around on the floor, kicking, screaming, slamming the door, telling me to go away

Know what made her stop? Not promises of seeing Rosie or Caiti, not promises of hearing the Beatles or playing with the puppies when we got home....not even the prospect of wearing new shoes stopped her tantrum....know what made her stop? The pickle....

Somehow, I got her up on the changing table, somehow, I got her to stop kicking me and I asked her to give me five (as an attempt to divert her attempts to hit me)...
Give me five...other side....cut the pickle (you put the tips of your pointer fingers together and the person is supped to chop them apart)....then you say tickle tickle and tickle the person.....that was what made her stop.

Know how long it took me to get her diaper changed, get her dressed, wash her face, brush her hair and get her shoes on...??

About 4 minutes

As we were walking to the car, Lucy asked me if I would go in Lucy's car.
Oh honey, Mummy has to go to work but this weekend, Mummy will ride in Lucy's car with her...(by now, I have her in the car seat and I'm buckling her in)
Please Mummy....? voice wavering and cracking just a bit. Please come in Lucy's car...
Sean wisely hops in the car and says
Hey Lucy, want to hear some Yo Gabba Gabba music?
Ok Daddy...sniff sniff...Please Mummy in Lucy's car

Music starts.....

Daddy says Hey Lucy, it's Party Time in your Tummy!!!!! So yummy!!!!!

Please Mummy, come in Lucy's car......

Sean turns the music up and I do what any mother would do in this situation......I start dancing.....like a lunatic....

And now Lucy is dancing in her seat (and yes, laughing at me).....

Song ends, we're all smiles....and leaving almost 20 minutes late....

Yep, being a parent is like being on the bomb squad......

Maria, the Mum