Thursday, January 26, 2017


Ziggy threw up this morning
I did not step in it but while cleaning it up I set my hand down in it
On the way to work, I kept smelling something weird in the car 
Could not quite figure out what the smell was or pinpoint its origin
I walked into the office and could still smell it
I checked my shoes and clothes just to make sure It was not something on me
Even checked to make sure I remembered to put on deodorant
I did
So I figured the smell was stuck in my nose
I reached into my purse around 11 to get my wallet
Stuck my hand in something mushy
And stinky
Not cat throw up
Instead the two peeled soft boiled eggs, which I may or may not have a vague recollection of throwing in my purse Monday, or could have been last Friday, were no longer in the Ziploc bag I do distinctly remembering placing them in but instead, were rolling around in the bottom of my purse
Well, not so much rolling anymore as just making a mess
So instead, I ate the banana which I totally remember tossing in my purse just this morning
Halfway through chomping on the last bit of my banana, I sneezed
And as instructed, I caught my sneeze in the crook of my arm
And in so doing, I may have pushed my face a little too deeply and hard into the crook of my arm
And my sneeze may have been a bit bigger than I realized because some mushed up banana, and possibly some phlegm, escaped and splattered all over my arm and my chest
I am not sure which is the grossest thing that happened to me today:
Hand in cat puke
Hand in mushed up soft boiled eggs
Or chunks of mushed up banana and possibly some phlegm in the crook of my arm and my chest
I do know that I am a class act though...a top notch class act....

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