Thursday, January 26, 2017

The most important meal of the day?

This morning, Lucy was good as gold
She hopped out of bed without being asked
As a matter of fact, she had to drag me out of bed
She was dressed and brushing her teeth before I even got out of the shower
She took her karate bag downstairs without being asked/reminded
She was at the table reading a book while I was still brushing my hair
She ate breakfast and read a book while I shuffled around putting her snack and lunch in her backpack, looked for my phone and poured myself coffee
She reminded me we had to leave a bit early so I could deliver some papers to Mrs R for the event at school tonight
I think we're on schedule Mumma! We're totally on top of this!
I agreed and ruffled her hair as I walked by still looking for my phone
At one point, I went down to the basement to flip the laundry and grab a couple things
I heard the front door bang open and close a few times
When I came upstairs, no Lucy
Lucy! I yelled
Hi Mumma! she said as she walked through the front door
What are you doing kiddo?
I put all our stuff in the car: your purse, my backpack, your tote bag and computer......that's really heavy by the way Mumma! I was just coming in to get your coffee!
Oh honey, thanks so are the best
She had even cleared her breakfast dishes, washed her face and picked up Ziggy's toys he had flung around the living room
She retrieved my phone from the side board (here Mumma! I bet you already forgot where this was...I had), made sure all the lights were turned off and grabbed a paper towel in anticipation of me spilling coffee (I did)
She ushered me out the door holding it open for me as I balanced my phone, coffee and some loose papers
Then locked it behind us
Lucy even opened the damn car door for me
And how do I repay her?
This little being who so lovingly made the morning go as smoothly as possible?
How do I repay my only child, the person I love and adore and would sacrifice my own life for?
How do I repay her?
I forgot to pack her fucking lunch
I realized this as I was driving to work
I had just rounded the bend and was less than two minutes away from school
I called Sean the second I slid behind the wheel to start bragging about great Lucy had been
As I was recounting our morning, it dawned on me I did not finish her lunch......I had packed her fruit, her goldfish crackers and her brownie but I forgot her sandwich
I hung up on Sean, banged a U-ey and headed back to school
I cut two people off and drove over a sidewalk hoping to make it to school while the kids were still outside
I jumped out of the car, ran to the wall and hollered for Lucy
She came running down the hill with a look of worry on her face
Mumma! What's wrong
Oh honey! I forgot to pack your lunch!
No you didn't, I saw you put it in my bag!
I know sweetie but I forgot your sandwich! I only put in your snacks for lunch .... I am so sorry baby! Can you buy a bagel or something???
You could hear the desperation and guilt in my voice
Lucy crouched down and put her hands on my face
Oh Mumma! We were having such a great morning...
I know honey! I'm so sorry, I feel awful
She sighed
It's ok Mumma, don't worry, I can just buy lunch
We said good bye again and I watched her walk up the hill to get back in line
I heard someone ask her if everything was okay
Oh yeah, she said in her ever expressive and loud voice
But, she declared with her arms raised up in disbelief,
My Mum forgot to pack my lunch! Can you believe it! She forgot to pack her own child's lunch!
I swear I could feel the disappointment and judgement of her classmates...I think I even saw a couple of them shake their heads in disgust....

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