Who? Which Side? On My What?

What's his name?

Tuesday night, John the Oil Guy made a delivery to our house. John is the nicest guy you will ever meet and always has a little treat for the kids (gum, a piece of candy, stickers). John also has Scooby Doo painted on the sides and back of his truck. Subsequently, he always has a supply of Scooby Doo stickers to pass out to the kids – and we all know how Lucy feels about stickers and puppies!

While John was filling the tank, we wandered out to chart with him and to let Lucy have a look at the truck. He immediately handed her two stickers that she clung to the whole time we were outside. We must have walked her around that truck 20 times so she could see it from every angle! And every time she caught site of Scooby, she would point and yell PUPPY!!! followed by giggling and clapping.

Later, as we were getting her into the tub, Sean asked Lucy who was on her sticker

Puppy Daddy!

I know he's a puppy, do you know his name?

Yeah Daddy! He's Gooby Gooby Doo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wrong side of the bed

Lucy woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Typically, she hops out of bed, brushes her teeth, gets a clean diaper and heads downstairs with me for breakfast while Sean showers and gets dressed. And when I say hops out of bed, this kid wakes up hopping almost every morning…literally. She hops from her room to the bathroom and back again (though she calls it boinging like Dory does on the jellyfish in Finding Nemo…..oh, and that's also what kangaroos do according to Lucy)

Subsequently, brushing her teeth and getting downstairs took 30 minutes, breakfast took an hour, getting dressed took 30 minutes and Lucy breaking my last nerve took about 70 minutes. It's the whining that kills me…and the kicking……and the I want Daddy, so Daddy takes over and she yells No I want Mama! So Mama takes over and she screams No Daddy! And then we just stop placating her and try to overpower her…

Needless to say, I spoke sternly to her, banned music and took her books away. I wouldn't even let her brush the hair on her Little Pony. At one point, she was reached a pinnacle of hysteria as I was trying to get her PJs off (Lucy come on honey, skin-a-pig for Mama…arms ups, please don't kick Lucy. Lucy, please stop hitting, honey please don't kick…..LUCY! STOP! Please just reach for the sky!)

I considered a slap across the face (you know like the snap-out- of-it-hysterical-lady kind of slap) or throwing holy water on her. Both seemed viable solutions but, slapping her face is obviously out of the question and I had no holy water on tap (I am however going to see if I can siphon some from the aspersorium at Church this weekend)

So somehow, through a lot of tears, yelling, stern talking tos and yes, some threats (No coloring! No Rosie! No birthday cake tomorrow!), we managed to get Lucy dressed and out the door for school. I wonder, sometimes, how the hell my mother did it with 7 kids…the first 6 all being less than 18 months apart! I can't even handle one!

I carried Lucy to the car and realized I forgot my coffee…Sean went back into the house as I buckled Lucy in. I settled her into her seat with her blub blubs, her monkeys and her baby nu-now. I was talking to her the whole time (about going to school to see Rosie and to color and play outside)

Lucy, I say, Mummy loves you very much…

I know Mama

And Lucy, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I got upset with you…..I'm sorry about this morning

Lucy looked at me, cocked her head to one side and said

I sorry too Mama….want some lips? And I was given a proper kiss from my two year old daughter along with her forgiveness

I could end there, you know on a happy upbeat positive note but as I was pulling away, Sean rolled down his window and informed me Lucy was gearing up for another meltdown….and as if on cue, she started to wail and cry with her bottom lip jutted out and her eyes clenched in frustration and maybe a bit of rage…..I drove away as fast as possible!

Sometimes, you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed………

Everybody now

This morning, after the meltdown in the house but before the one in the car, we were getting ready to descend the stairs which she does in one of two ways: holding the rail and walking down or, sitting on her bum and going down step by step.

This morning was a bum day

I was in front of Lucy, Sean behind her

Mama! Get on your bum! Go on bum! Daddy go on bum!

So as to maintain the peace, Sean and I dropped on our bums and the three of us proceeded to bump and thump down the stairs.

Three steps from the bottom, Lucy, who had been narrating our descent (First Mama, then Lucy, now Daddy…Lucy on her bum, and Mama and Daddy….) says with great joy, enthusiasm and excitement:

Everybody on their bum! Mama on her bum! Lucy on her bum! Daddy on his bum! Uncle Gareth on his bum! EVERYBODY ON THEIR BUM!!!!

Uncle Gareth isn't even here yet……

Maria, the Mum

Calling out around the world

So I discovered on Blogger there are stats that track how many times your blog is viewed

Then I discovered it also tracks how they found our blog (Facebook and Google being number 1 and 2)

It even tracks what browser and operating systems people were using (Internet Explorer being the most widely used and Windows…though someone is using their iPod to read us…)

You can even see what countries people are from….

Of course I expected to see the United States (1581 views) and the United Kingdom (53 views).

Did not expect

Germany, 62 views

Russia, 35 views

Canada, 32 views

Japan, 21 views

South Korea, 19 views

Brazil, 17 views

Slovakia, 11 views

Italy, 9 views

I'm not even 100% sure where Slovakia is (sorry about that to my Slovakian readers…no offense….)

What I want to know is how do I know more Germans than Brits? I didn't even know I knew any Germans…..

What are they Googling to find us?

Who is reading this on a iPod? That's got to be somewhat annoying…isn't it really small?

And have I really read my own blog 1,581 times?!?!

Maria, the Mum

Dumbo, Bambi, Bingo, Waldo, The Biter

Oldies but Goodies
We watched Dumbo and Bambi recently - Lucy loved both movies

She asked only once where Bambi's mummy went but answered herself by saying she had to go shopping. When she watches Dumbo, she stands in front of the TV and tells Dumbo its okay, don't cry, I like your ears. She also tries to soothe Dumbo's mother by assuring her that Dumbo OK! He's flying!


Where's Waldo
Saturday, Kristen, our neighbor, knocked on the door and asked if Lucy could help her plant some flowers. Lucy, who adores Kristen (and her puppy Jet and her boyfriend Roger), obliged and the two of them toddled off hand in hand to Kristen's to plant flowers.

An hour later, Lucy returned (with a lovely impatient in tow) and informed us she had fun in the dirt and she got to feed Jet. She was telling her Dad about the flowers when Kristen pulled me aside and says

Roger's not here this morning, he had a few things to do up at his place. So I take Lucy into the house to feed Jet through the back door. She sort of looks around for a minute, without saying anything and the walked through the dining room into the living room, back around to the kitchen...and I knew she was looking for Roger but I did not say anything, I just let her look. And then, says Kristen through her laugh, Lucy looks up at me, raises her arms and says

Where the heck is Roger?!?


Bingo was his name Oh
Monday morning, Lucy was perched in her car seat flipping through her Dumbo storybook while Sean and I were saying our good byes.

As I was leaving, and Sean was adjusting the straps on her seat, he asked, What are you reading Lucy


Lucy, without looking up or missing a beat responds

Bingo

Love
My sister Angela aand her son Cooper sent Lucy a beach towel with Nemo and his Tank Gang on it. She's been carrying it around with her since it arrived (even insisting that it be hanging on the back of her chair while she's eating dinner). She refers to it as her Nemo Blanket.

The other day, as I was in the kitchen fixing her lunch, she was snuggling her Nemo "blanket" abd I heard her whisper to it
I love you Nemo blanket, I love you

Welcome to America!
Uncle Gareth will arrive from England Thursday. We've been talking about it all week and prepping Lucy for his arrival by announcing Uncle Gareth will be here soon!

This morning at breakfast, Sean said Lucy! Guess who will be here to see you tomorrow?!
Lucy, all excitedly, gasps and says ROSIE!!!! (her teacher from school who sits for her)

Uhh, not quite I say...Uncle Gareth! I declare with just as much enthusiasm

OH, she says slumping her shoulders and sort of groaning.....can Rosie come instead?

Mama Did It
Between Saturday and Sunday, Sean hung all the blinds in the house.

One of the blinds we hung was a bit wonky...Sean noticed it straight away and pointed it out to me. While he was upstairs, I wondered aloud to Lucy if I broke it when dropped it in the store (and may or may not have forgotten to tell Sean I did so)

Sean left a bit later to take the blind back and exchange it.

Lucy asked where Daddy was

He went to the store I replied

For Lucy? code for to Buy me something?

No silly, he had to take the blind back to the store

Oh.....the one you broke?

Spartacus no more
When I picked Lucy up on Thursday, before I could even say hello to her, she popped up from where she was sitting and blurted out

Mama! _____ bit me!


She must have repeated this three times before we left, and at least a half dozen more times on the way home. And when we arrived home, she told anyone who would listen that ____ bit her.


The next morning, as we're leaving for work and school, Lucy informs she does not like the biter.


I no like ______. He bite Lucy. I not play with him

Lucy, I say, I know he bit you and that was not nice but _____ is still your friend. You just need to be nice...and patient with ______.


No Mama! I not like ____. He bite Lucy! No No ____! Don't bite Lucy!

Now Lucy, don't you say that to ______. You go get Rosie or Kylie or Georgette and let them handle it.

Lucy sort of pouts and huffs at me

OK Mama! But I'm not playing with him


That's OK Lucy, you don't have to play with him but you still have to be nice

OK Mama, Lucy be nice.....but I won't like being nice!


Maria, the Mum

I OK, Good Job, Look Out

I'm OK, You're OK
When I picked Lucy up from school today, I was informed that she had a little run in with the table
Rosie explained that Lucy went to pick something up off the floor and slammed her forehead into the table. Rosie said she had a big old bump and bruise on her forehead but was just fine.
As Rosie finished telling me this, Lucy, who had been sitting on the floor next to Rosie popped up and declared
I OK Mama! I OK!

Atta Boy
As I do every day when I pick Lucy up, I settled her into her car seat, handed her a cup of water and gave her an on the way home snack - today was fruit snacks and blub blubs (goldfish crackers). I also gave her an extra kiss and ruffled her hair on account of her run in with the table
Three minutes down the road, Lucy says
Mama, you did a good job!
Thanks Lucy
You're welcome Mama, I love you!

Look Out
Three minutes after that, Lucy leans over in her car seat to get a better look out the front window and noting the line of traffic coming towards us (on the other side of the road of course)
Mama! Look out, here comes the cars! Whoa, be careful!
I got this I assure her
OK Mama, just look out!

Maria, the Mum

Big Bed, Brave and Bubba

I Brave Mama
Last night, after Sean bathed Lucy and I dressed her, and we sang a rousing rendition of Old MacDonald's Farm while parading (literally) around upstairs, Lucy decided she wanted me to read her stories before bed instead of Daddy.

Just as Daddy and Lucy have been doing for the past couple weeks, we stretched out on her big girl bed to read a couple stories. After the fourth or fifth book, I told Lucy we were all done and it was time to go to sleep

OK Mama, turn off the light please

So I turned off the light expecting to hoist her into her crib but when I turned around, she was standing next to her big girl bed clutching Bubba, The Orange Dinosaur and announced

Lucy sleep in big girl bed Mama
OK Lucy, want Mama to put you in?
Yeah, Mama help Lucy

So I helped Lucy crawl into the big girl bed and pulled the covers up over she, Bubba and Dina (the pink and green dinosaur Auntie Mikel gave to Lucy when she was born)

Do you want Mama to read Winnie the Pooh
No thank you Mama, I go to sleep in my big girl bed
Oh, OK.......

I was not sure what else to say; I almost said are you sure? But I did not want to discourage her or second guess her decision.....So I just sort of stood there for a second trying not to make a big deal out of the fact she asked to get in the bed...and I was trying not to get too excited so I would not be disappointed when she asked to go in her crib

I leaned over and gave Lucy a kiss good night, stroked her head for a few seconds and told her I loved her and was proud of her

I sleep in big girl bed Mama.....I brave she murmured as she pulled Bubba closer to her and closed her eyes

I stayed in the room for a few minutes just to make sure....she looked so tiny in her bed....and I wondered why I was in such a rush to make her grow up, to move from the crib (a baby bed) to a big girl toddler bed....all of a sudden, I had the urge to pick her up, toss her back in the crib and tell her to be a baby for as long as she wanted.

But I didn't......because she opened her eyes, looked at me and said

I OK Mama, I brave...I love you! and with a giggle, she nuzzled Bubba and within five minutes, was sound asleep

Lucy made it through the night in her big girl bed. She did wake up around 12:45ish (my clock said 1:11am but its like 20 or 25 minutes fast...don't ask) We've not been going in when she wakes up the past couple weeks and she has done great at soothing herself back to sleep but I did get up last night as I wanted to make sure she was not wandering around

She was standing next to the bed when I walked in crying just a bit. I knelt down and opened my arms letting Lucy walk into my hug.

Mama....sniff sniff...where Bubba?

I retrieved Bubba from under the covers, handed him to Lucy who gave him a big cuddle. She then turned and crawled back into bed

Mama stay?

Yes Lucy, I'll stay for a few minutes

Thank you Mama

Though she tossed and turned, she was back asleep within minutes (as was I on the floor....total accident but I was tired)

Lucy woke up this morning full of beans, bouncing around like a toy ball as her Dad observed....and quite proud of herself for sleeping in her big girl bed.

I liked it Mama! I like sleeping in the big bed! I do it again?!?

Maria, the Mum

Your Age, Bubba the Dinosaur

Your Age
Last night, Sean came home and informed me he had a new co-worker

Sean: Her name is Elizabeth but she goes by Biz
Me: Biz? Is she from Connecticut? What is Biz? What kind of name is that? Is she a preppy?
Sean: I don't know........all I know is she goes by Biz
Me: Is she young?
Sean: No no (with an emphatic head shake)....she's not young. She's like your age
Me: stone cold stare, no words, no noise, just silence.......and a stone cold stare

Bubba
In 1986, I was a 14 year old freshman in high school. I went to a semi private (public for British Audience) school in the middle of Bangor as my little town did not have a high school.

It was a good school - academically. And it offered a lot of extra curricular activities - one of the most relished was the Annual Spring Musical.

Every year, a select group of students, the most talented kids, would audition for and put on a spectacular play, always a musical. They were practically legendary and a social event of the Spring season in Bangor (I may be exaggerating that a bit here but the point is, the play was pretty important and people who did not even have kids at the school would come to see it)

So my freshman year, I somehow made the varsity basketball team (I think there were not enough girls left over for the JV team and they felt badly for me so I made the team) and used to hang around with the girls who were Juniors. Dede decided she wanted to try out for the play - and because she was my ride home that day, I tried out for the play as well.

Now what happened next is nothing short of.....well, a total fluke....I landed the female lead in the school play. Initially, I did not understand the weight this carried - until I saw the senior girl everyone thought would get the lead (as all she had wanted her whole life was to sing and act on stage) having a temper tantrum in one of the classroom and saying some not so nice things about me and the director who cast me.

I remember trying to talk to her, trying to apologize for her not getting the lead....she just glared down at me (she was a lot taller than I was, a lot thinner....she had this shock of curly black hair and this long face,....and her nose was kind of big so when she was glaring down at me, her nostrils were flaring because she was so angry and she sort of looked like a horse. I vaguely remember being afraid she would buck up and come down on me as a horse does when scared or startled by something....) and told me I had no business even being in the play and stormed out of the room with her supporting actors in tow.

So, I landed the coveted lead in the school play that is usually reserved for a senior...who has acting talent...and experience....and can sing...I had none of those things. But I pulled it off and though no Tony will ever come my way, I don't think I was that bad

My sophomore year, 1987, I went out for the play again and though I was not counting on getting the lead - I thought I'd get a part....I did not...and I was devastated...and embarrassed...and really really sad.

Mikel, my youngest sister, at the time was all of 6. She knew I was sad and bought me an organge dinosaur (a brontosaurus) to cheer me up. It did. That brontosaurus went every where with me

I carried it around with me after she gave it to me because he cheered me up and made me smile
He went to Europe with me when I went on the European Field Trip (I left him on the train in Switzerland (may have been Germany or Austria) and Jen and I snuck back on the train to retrieve him...we almost did not make it off the train but we saved the dinosaur)
He went to college with me (and I cried a lot while snuggling that dinosaur as I was miserable the first couple months I was there)
He moved to IL with me -and was the only thing that could console me the first few months I was on my own
I slept with that dinosaur every night for I can't tell you how long.

I still have The Orange Dinosaur....he's almost 24 years old.....a little grungy, a couple wounds, an ink spot on his head (that I tell everyone is a birthmark) and a ragged old tag...but he has been with me 24 years....my longest relationship ever

This morning, Lucy woke up in a state - she cried and fussed and tried to get in the shower with me. She laid on the floor sobbing and stopped only when I picked her up and snuggled her...not even Daddy could not stop the tears.

When I got out of the shower, I was trying to talk Lucy into letting me change her diaper. She just paced up and down the hallway crying. At the end of the hallway is a trunk with some stuffed animals on it (OK, they're mine) and perched amongst the teddy bears is the Orange Dinosaur.

Mama, cries Lucy
What honey?
She sniffles a couple times and wails once for good measure
Mama...I need a dinosaur....sniffle sniffle, wail wail, throw self on floor for dramatic effect

I freeze...she wants MY dinosaur. She wants THE orange dinosaur.. She's eyed it before and I've always been able to distract her with something else.....why do I leave him out you ask?
I leave him out because it comforts me to see him as I'm headed in our room at night to go to bed and when I wake up in the morning, there he is...just as he has been for 24 years....and now, my 2 year old wants him...NEEDS him

Shit

My baby is crying, we're running late, she's got her little hand on my dinosaur...
I'm 38! She's 2! What is wrong with me...he's just a stuffed animal...just an Orange Dinosaur....
Of course you can have the dinosaur I say swooping in lovingly

Lucy tucks him under her arm and paddles down the hall towards her room

I cajole her onto the changing table where she continues to fuss

So I get the dinosaur to talk to her as I'm trying to get her to lay still so I can change her diaper...
Then I get the dinosaur to change her diaper! He nudges her PJ pants off and then, with help from Mummy, gets her diaper unfastened...but Mummy does the wipes because dinosaurs have short arms!
And Lucy is laughing and giggling as I get a clean diaper on her

Mama, whats his name?
His name?

In my head, I realize he's 24 years old and he's never ever had a name except The Orange Dinosaur

Well Lucy, I say as I lean in towards her and the dinosaur, what do you think we should call him?
Ummmmmmm....she holds him above her as I fasten her clean diaper and announces, with great authority,
BUBBA!
Bubba?
Yeah Mama! Bubba! and she pulls him in in for a hug

Bubba...all I can think of is Former President Clinton....when you say Bubba, he pops into my head and I cringe....and she wants to call my cherished Orange Dinosaur Bubba...cringe....but instead, I declare

Bubba is a perfect name! and I plant kisses on Lucy and Bubba
Bubba hungry Mama!
Ok, what would Bubba like for breakfast?
Fruit Loops! shouts Lucy
Ok, what would Lucy like for breakfast?
Eggies!

And with that, I scoop up Bubba and Lucy and we head down for breakfast.

Bubba was given his own bowl of Fruit Loops, Lucy had scrambled eggs and a bowl of cereal
And I wondered what the hell I was going to say Lucy asked if she could take Bubba to school with her....

Bubba is poised to bring yet another generation love and security.....so here's to the next 24 years of tears, triumphs, love, laughs, hugs snuggles, train trips, car rides, sleep overs and Fruit Loops...

Maria, the Mum

What am I, Who Dat

What am I
Lucy has discovered that we have names. She takes great delight in pointing at her Dad and saying

Daddy is Sean. Daddy a boy!
She then points at me and says Mama is Maria (comes out sounding like Ma-e-a).
Then she points at herself and says Lucy is Lucy! Lucy a girl!

I noticed that she did not identify me as a girl (see previous blog, http://www.sykesfamily.me/2011/05/mama-is-squirrels-driving-lucy.html) so I asked her again

Lucy, Daddy is a boy?
Yeah Mama!
And Lucy is a girl?
Yeah Mama!
So is Mama a girl?

No silly Mama!
Well what's Mama then?
Uhh, Mama is just Mama......! Not a boy, not a girl! Mama is a mummy!

Are you sure Mama isn't a girl? I think Mama is a girl like Lucy.....

No! Mama can't be a girl! Mama has to be the Mama!!!

OK, you win....

Thanks Mama!


Who that
The phone rang the other night as I was sitting Lucy down for dinner. She starts yelling

Hi Yo Noni?
Hi Yo Papa?
Hi Yo Daddy?
Who dat Mama?

It was a telemarketer

Lucy, when Mama is on the phone, you can't yell like that. It's not very nice, it's rude Lucy. And Mama can't hear the person on the phone

Sorry Mama

Its okay Lucy. Thank you. so next time Mama is on the phone, what will you do?


Lucy looks up for a minute pondering my question (or seeking out an answer from God), then leans over her plate looking at me and says in a whisper
Hi Yo Noni?
Hi Yo Papa?
Hi Yo Daddy?


Maria, the Mum