Thursday, May 26, 2011

Who? Which Side? On My What?

What's his name?

Tuesday night, John the Oil Guy made a delivery to our house. John is the nicest guy you will ever meet and always has a little treat for the kids (gum, a piece of candy, stickers). John also has Scooby Doo painted on the sides and back of his truck. Subsequently, he always has a supply of Scooby Doo stickers to pass out to the kids – and we all know how Lucy feels about stickers and puppies!

While John was filling the tank, we wandered out to chart with him and to let Lucy have a look at the truck. He immediately handed her two stickers that she clung to the whole time we were outside. We must have walked her around that truck 20 times so she could see it from every angle! And every time she caught site of Scooby, she would point and yell PUPPY!!! followed by giggling and clapping.

Later, as we were getting her into the tub, Sean asked Lucy who was on her sticker

Puppy Daddy!

I know he's a puppy, do you know his name?

Yeah Daddy! He's Gooby Gooby Doo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wrong side of the bed

Lucy woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Typically, she hops out of bed, brushes her teeth, gets a clean diaper and heads downstairs with me for breakfast while Sean showers and gets dressed. And when I say hops out of bed, this kid wakes up hopping almost every morning…literally. She hops from her room to the bathroom and back again (though she calls it boinging like Dory does on the jellyfish in Finding Nemo…..oh, and that's also what kangaroos do according to Lucy)

Subsequently, brushing her teeth and getting downstairs took 30 minutes, breakfast took an hour, getting dressed took 30 minutes and Lucy breaking my last nerve took about 70 minutes. It's the whining that kills me…and the kicking……and the I want Daddy, so Daddy takes over and she yells No I want Mama! So Mama takes over and she screams No Daddy! And then we just stop placating her and try to overpower her…

Needless to say, I spoke sternly to her, banned music and took her books away. I wouldn't even let her brush the hair on her Little Pony. At one point, she was reached a pinnacle of hysteria as I was trying to get her PJs off (Lucy come on honey, skin-a-pig for Mama…arms ups, please don't kick Lucy. Lucy, please stop hitting, honey please don't kick…..LUCY! STOP! Please just reach for the sky!)

I considered a slap across the face (you know like the snap-out- of-it-hysterical-lady kind of slap) or throwing holy water on her. Both seemed viable solutions but, slapping her face is obviously out of the question and I had no holy water on tap (I am however going to see if I can siphon some from the aspersorium at Church this weekend)

So somehow, through a lot of tears, yelling, stern talking tos and yes, some threats (No coloring! No Rosie! No birthday cake tomorrow!), we managed to get Lucy dressed and out the door for school. I wonder, sometimes, how the hell my mother did it with 7 kids…the first 6 all being less than 18 months apart! I can't even handle one!

I carried Lucy to the car and realized I forgot my coffee…Sean went back into the house as I buckled Lucy in. I settled her into her seat with her blub blubs, her monkeys and her baby nu-now. I was talking to her the whole time (about going to school to see Rosie and to color and play outside)

Lucy, I say, Mummy loves you very much…

I know Mama

And Lucy, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I got upset with you…..I'm sorry about this morning

Lucy looked at me, cocked her head to one side and said

I sorry too Mama….want some lips? And I was given a proper kiss from my two year old daughter along with her forgiveness

I could end there, you know on a happy upbeat positive note but as I was pulling away, Sean rolled down his window and informed me Lucy was gearing up for another meltdown….and as if on cue, she started to wail and cry with her bottom lip jutted out and her eyes clenched in frustration and maybe a bit of rage…..I drove away as fast as possible!

Sometimes, you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed………

Everybody now

This morning, after the meltdown in the house but before the one in the car, we were getting ready to descend the stairs which she does in one of two ways: holding the rail and walking down or, sitting on her bum and going down step by step.

This morning was a bum day

I was in front of Lucy, Sean behind her

Mama! Get on your bum! Go on bum! Daddy go on bum!

So as to maintain the peace, Sean and I dropped on our bums and the three of us proceeded to bump and thump down the stairs.

Three steps from the bottom, Lucy, who had been narrating our descent (First Mama, then Lucy, now Daddy…Lucy on her bum, and Mama and Daddy….) says with great joy, enthusiasm and excitement:

Everybody on their bum! Mama on her bum! Lucy on her bum! Daddy on his bum! Uncle Gareth on his bum! EVERYBODY ON THEIR BUM!!!!

Uncle Gareth isn't even here yet……

Maria, the Mum

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