Thursday, August 4, 2011

Here’s What I Do Have

So last week, I decided I want to be a "professional" blogger....primarily because, as we have discussed, I am far too lazy and commitment phobic to complete a novel and blogging sort of quenches the need/thirst I have for writing.

I've been doing research - translation trolling around reading other blogs out there - and have come to the conclusion there is no way in hell I could ever compete - translate make my life as interesting, witty and funny - with the blogs out there

There are some amazing people out there!
And they are interesting and funny
They have a point of view and they have a voice

I focused mainly on blogs by other Moms because those were the ones I got sucked into the quickest and got the most out of

These women have
  • Multiple children
  • They work full time outside the home or inside the home and they have really cool jobs
  • They home school their children
  • They gave birth in a tub with a midwife or at home with a midwife or in the hospital with a midwife
  • And they had a fantastic labor and though some pushed for hours, it was all done with no drugs
  • They scrapbook, knit, quilt, make homemade cards for all occasions and holidays
  • They garden
  • They travel
  • They eat organic, cook gourmet meals and make mouthwatering desserts
  • They take pictures and post them regularly and with ease
  • They lost all their baby weight and go to the gym/bike/run/do yoga
  • They love Jesus; they make it to Church every week
  • They decorate their homes for every holiday
  • They all seem to be pregnant! (I'm being dramatic, but quite a few of them are preggers)
  • Oh, and they are all in their 20's/early 30's. And if they are over 35, they started having babies at 25
  • They have a circle of family and friends the size of Texas
  • They also seem to have a niche: twins, a child with special needs, adopted children, Southern families, military families, green families
Here's how I stack up:
  • One toddler
  • I work full time outside the home at a job that I can't say I love but don't quite hate, it's a job with a paycheck
  • I can barely balance home and work...I finally folded a basket of laundry that has been sitting at the top of the stairs since Saturday...its Wednesday
  • I hung out in the hospital for 4 days before having my labor induced, my water broken and then my body refused to dilate, contract and go through I was drugged, strapped to a table and Lucy entered the world in a bright white surgical room
  • She was taken away before I could even kiss her little head....I didn't even get to meet her until the next morning…sometimes I feel robbed on the whole birthing experience…but then again, does it matter? I mean really, I have her….so does it matter how she got here?
  • The only crafts I can do are the prepackaged ones...and only if they're for 5 and under
  • I have a black thumb - one time, I killed a cactus...even fresh flowers wither if they are within 50 feet of me
  • Finding the time and money to travel has been our issue
  • Eat organic?!? Gourmet meals??? A gourmet meal in our house is a hot dog with vegetables
  • And I'm talking frozen veggies, not even the fresh ones
  • All the pictures I take are fuzzy, blurry and usually of the back of Lucy's head...and I can't figure out stupid Aperture enough to post to this blog
  • I lost the baby weight, then went back to work and gained it again
  • I would love to get back to regular exercise routine but as I said, have not quite figured out the whole balancing thing yet...and one time I tried yoga and got tangled up in myself
  • Another time, I bought one of those big blue balancing balls...kept falling off it
  • I love God and Jesus but have not made it to Church in a long time….and I miss it
  • And my love for God is in the Catholic way, not the Christian'd think there is no difference (because there really is not) but when you identify yourself as a Catholic living in the Boston area somehow this translates to me supporting all the actions of the Diocese of Boston (I don't think I need to elaborate on this) 
  • So yeah, I'm down with The Big Guy and JC but find it hard to do in the off handed casual way other people are able to...could be my own hang up but really, it's a tough time, still, to be a Catholic in Boston
  • Though I decorate for the holidays, it never quite looks the way it does in my head because I run out of steam and time
  • I'm not pregnant.....but feel like I am surrounded by pregnant women on line and in life. We went to Davis Farmland the other day and I swear, every third woman I saw was in the family way
  • And people keep asking me when I'll have another because "you're not getting any younger"
  • Because, thanks for the reminder, I'm 39 (in a few days) and had my first child at 36
  • I don't have a circle of family and friends the size of Texas…which is sort of my own fault because I've burned some bridges I wish I could rebuild
  • And this might be the deal breaker: I don't have a niche
Here's what I do have:
  • A husband I adore, and who I'm pretty sure adores me even if we sometimes bicker, get annoyed with one another and disagree
  • A daughter who makes me love like I've never loved, laugh, and cry. She amazes me every day with her words, antics and actions…and sometimes she makes me crazy and pushes me to the edge but she is ours – and she's a keeper
  • I have a job that helps to pay our bills, keep a roof over our heads and provides us with medical benefits….even though we live in a state with the highest child care rates, the highest medical insurance rates and astronomical housing costs, we somehow have managed to handle all three
  • Just means we can't travel! But we take some great day trips
  • I have a house we can call our own – so it's a little small, there's no garage and every nook and cranny is filled – it's ours…..Lucy's artwork hangs on the walls, her stuffed animals are in every room and you can't move without tripping over a pile of books….it's ours and its home
  • And our door is always open – come and go as you please. You don't have to take your shoes off and we don't really care of you break something or knock something over…..just so long as you feel at home…and people do
  • I may forget to take pictures but I'm in every moment I have with Sean and Lucy – and when you are in the moment, it does not matter if its blurry, fuzzy, there's too much light or not enough light……it only matters that at that moment, I'm paying attention, tucking it away and calling upon it on a rainy day or in a dark hour
  • I may not have a circle of friends the size of Texas but the friends I do have, no matter how far away, keep me in their thoughts and prayers and are there when I need them the most
  • And my family may be a bit off center and at times dysfunctional, but any one of them would be there when I called….course they may stop for Jujubes on the way but they'd be there
  • And I swear, I'm not as self indulgent, bitter, jealous or self centered as this makes me sound
  • Oh and I make really good cookies
Now if I could only find my niche……(this is the part when I say I'm open for suggestions but I like to try to be coy about certain things…like asking for input or advice…..reading between the lines? Anyone?)

Maria, the Mum

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